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Guest Writers at Britneyology!
Written by Karen   
March 18, 2007
This site hasn't been created as a vanity project for my writing, or Jason's.

 

We want it to be a place where ANYONE who knows enough and cares enough about Britney to write about her in detail can submit their work. We intend BRITNEYOLOGY to become an extensive resource where those who are interested in Britney can quickly find reviews and special features or stay a while, browse, exchange opinions on the forum, and read more about her life, career, personality, talent and work.

 

This is an important week for the site because it sees the launch of our Guest Contributions Section. As you will see, it brings a whole new flavor to the site, extends our content and style, and allows some fine Britney writers to have their say. To access their articles, you just have to click on the Menu Bar above.

 

Once the new section is well and truly launched and advertised, the Guest Contributions will appear on the homepage in the "most recent articles" area. Which is THIS area!

 

Look out! There are going to be quite a few appearing here this coming week!

 
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Liz Taylor's advice versus normal life
Written by Karen   
March 17, 2007
I see that the "grande dame" of tormented celebrities, Liz Taylor, has been offering some advice to all the young celebrity "party girls" like Britney who (she thinks) end up in rehab because they can't handle fame. Liz complains that they tend to go out courting publicity and fame. And if you're famous, you have no right to a private life.

 

Actually, she reckons there's a hundred ways to avoid publicity. Well yes, we know there are stars who live amazingly secretive lives, with secret entrances to their homes, dark-windowed limousines, heavy disguises, decoy doubles......and they only go out at 4.00 a.m.

 

The problem for someone like Britney is that she doesn't want to be like that, and doesn't see herself as that. She wants to be a normal person who just goes out of her house in broad daylight when she feels like it, drives her own car, walks into stores and buys stuff and so on.

 

The kind of life Liz recommends wouldn't help Britney adjust properly to the world around her, get maturity, become balanced and learn how to look after herself without going crazy. It would perpetuate the overprotected bubble she used to live in, cut her off from exposure to the full range of human experience, and inhibit the development of her lifeskills. She needs to meet normal people and hang out with them. Even if there are paparazzi circling in helicopters overhead or hiding in trees.

 

OK, she could go on trying to live the life of a recluse for the rest of her days - and perhaps that would keep her safe to some extent. But Liz's experience is of the movie star life, where you only ever have to be on set, at home, or on the red carpet. That's a strange, unreal, dreamlike existence. It produces people like Norma Desmond, the delusional lady in the movie "Sunset Boulevard".

 

Performers like Britney have to go out into the wider world and face their public. It's better that she learns how to do it than to hide away in darkened rooms.

 
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That AAAARGH!!! feeling in a few simple words
Written by Karen   
March 16, 2007
I don't know how real this is, but it sounds credible. (I've edited it a little but added nothing). A person claiming to be a friend of Britney posted this on her MySpace and I couldn't have expressed it better:

 

"A close friend of mine here on myspace wants you to know just how much pain some *******s cause.

 

After watching a video someone on my list posted today about Britney, I feel I have to speak. If this is long, I'm sorry, I've just been holding my feelings in for so long and it needs to stop now! People do not realize what pain they are causing when they do stuff like this. When you say or do something hurtful to or about someone else, sure it may be funny to you at the time, but you know what? it causes that person pain!

 

I have held Britney so many nights in her house and in my apartment while she cried and cried because of the things people have been saying about her. now they've taken it a step farther and made cartoon videos about it, that are supposed to be funny, but they are really just plain ****ing rude!

 

No one gives Brit a chance. She is the most down-to-earth, normal, person I have ever met. She has a great head on her shoulders - no matter what anyone says about her she is normal! She is a human being just like you, me, and the next Joe Blow down the street. what makes her any different?

 

What makes it ok for people to follow her around all day just to catch her doing something bad? What makes it ok for people to follow her around everywhere she goes, everyday, with cameras to see where she goes, who she goes with, and what she says to those people? What makes it ok for people to treat her like an animal simply because she makes mistakes, probably the same mistakes all of you have made [but] just aren't publicized?

 

What makes all of that ok???/ NOTHING DOES! do not treat her like an animal simply because she made the decision to be in the public eye for her career. She made a lot of sacrifices over the years to bring the world awesome music, great stage shows, and be a great role model for people.

 

For my last word, all I have to say is LEAVE HER ALONE!"

 

I won't even attempt to add anything to that.

 
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Lip-synching is OK - so long as you're not Britney Spears
Written by Karen   
March 10, 2007
You couldn't make it up. After all the things a certain person has said about Britney and "mysterious tapes" we find this in a concert review in the Denver Post: "[Christina Aguilera's] concert at the Pepsi Center on Monday night was a pop extravaganza, a visual feast and an aesthetic triumph. Which is to say, there was plenty of lip-syncing. It's a given with these big arena tours, and Aguilera's dance-heavy show - especially the show-opening "Ain't No Other Man" and the stripperesque "Dirrty" - doesn't lend itself to be simultaneously choreographed and sung, especially at Denver's altitude. Because the numbers were inventive, we'll forgive Aguilera for her poor lip-syncing."

And only a few days ago we encountered Avril Lavigne admitting how incredibly difficult it was to sing and dance at the same time. And she wasn't even talking about full-scale choreography, or keeping up with the dancers.

I'm not about to recommend that we all send messages to Britney encouraging her to lip-synch throughout the rest of her career. The media may be inclined to forgive Christina Aguilera, but then she seems to be one of those artists (like Beyonce) the media fall in love with. Britney Spears, on the other hand......

In fact, I had pretty much reached the point of believing that the days of attempting to sing and do choreography at the same time were at an end. Most of the hot stars of recent times just haven't bothered to do it, and nobody complained. Standing at a mic singing live seemed to have become highly fashionable. The ad-lib strutting and posing that passed for dancing seemed OK to most observers.

But now, while Britney's away, choreography's coming back. The stars are realising that a static vocal extravaganza can actually be pretty boring, and if lipping is required to make space for those visual dynamics, then so be it. If she's contemplating her comeback at all right now, Britney in rehab is probably allowing herself one sweet little indulgence - and it's a little cynical chuckle.

 
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It's 'cool' to support Brit, who knew?
Written by Jason   
March 8, 2007

Funny, isn't it?  After a couple of years of near-universal swipes in Britney's direction, it seems all we're hearing lately are calls to action to support Britney and wish her the best; people legitimately rooting for her!  Surely y'all have noticed that the new vogue stance of the month is to stroll down the red carpet or the wall-of-paparazzi outside of any hotspot and toss out a few words of support for Britney.  It's pleasant to see every celebrity, their baby's mommas, and their pool boys toss out support, but I wonder: will all of the support right now eventually backlash and give critics a free pass to be even more snide and nasty than they were before ("Oh, we supported her when she needed us most, and now that the PRESSURE to be polite is gone, let's make up for lost time!") Perhaps I'm being too cynical.  Perhaps the good natured stance people have near-universally taken towards Britney will change their views of her as a human being (and eventually as an artist) on a longterm level. It's interesting to consider how public/celebrity reaction right now could affect her repututation once she's no longer the flavor-of-the-month as continues to become healthier and continues to progress towards her eventual return to professional form.

 

Anyway, moving on from that question, because I think it's not best to focus on support for Britney from that angle.  Why focus on the potential flavor-of-the-month status when we could just as easily focus on Britney's hardcore supportive fans who have been just as adamant as ever lately about the fact that Britney's hardships as of late do nothing to drag their opinion of her through the mud.  There's no questionable sincerity to be found here, this is bonafide love and support that Britney has earned because of the role she's played in her fans' happiness. Take a look at the recent efforts to grace the digital sales charts with Britney's name (this week there is an effort to get Britney's self-titled album back on any charts possible, and there was a recent effort with My Only Wish during the 2006 holiday season).  Even though not every member of the hardcore fanbase can actively participate in these efforts, how cool is it to just know that these efforts are taking place?  Britney's fans support her not because it's the charitable thing to do, nor because they're pressured against taking a nasty stance, but rather because they realize that she's earned it and she needs it.  It's awesome.  All of us who are proud to call ourselves members of the Britney fanbase should realize that we're a part of a pretty cool group of people who are lucky enough to share a common respect for a young woman who deserves it.  There's no insincerity there.  If we, the fans, can continue being positive even through the toughest and most questionable of times in Britney's life, I cannot wait to see how exuberant we'll all be once Britney is truly back on track!

 
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PLEEEZE do NOT bug Britney about her weight
Written by Karen   
March 8, 2007
People, I am still in shock. I've just been watching a TV show where former British pop beauty and FHM hottest female for about 5 consecutive years Louise Redknapp tried to find out what it was like to diet to Size Zero. And the mental and physical torment and trauma this poor girl went through to get there would have broken the hardest heart. The tears are still rolling down my face as I type this. LONG before she got to her goal, her medical consultant advised her that it was not only unwise but dangerous to carry on, and that her weight-loss was 50% muscle, so there was no guarantee she would ever be the same again. She suspected she would end the experiment with a permanent eating disorder, but she was determined to discover the truth about what it was like to live that life. Along the way she talked to Mel C, who suffered from anorexia for years, followed by other disorders. And she also met some 12-year-old girls at a health farm where they were trying to overcome THEIR anorexia. She confronted figures from the fashion industry but they seemed totally unrepentant and had no intention of moving away from that stick-thin look. What emerged from the show was that extreme dieting doesn't only affect your appearance, it affects your health and outlook on every level, and brings not only anxiety, mood changes, depression and behavioral problems, but also infertility and, eventually, organ damage. Her consultant said women were not DESIGNED to be this thin. They can't function properly. And yet, every time Britney appears in public, looking about 120 pounds, somebody on her OWN FORUMS, for fuck sake, says she needs to lose some weight. PLEEEEEZE do not put this burden on her. She has enough to deal with already.
 
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Nature abhors a Britney vacuum!
Written by Karen   
March 6, 2007
If she's not IN the news, people MAKE UP news. Britney Spears is the biggest-selling brand in the celebrity cattle market. Lucie Cave from Heat magazine once said (rather unfairly) "She may not sell a lot of records any more, but she sells a lot of newspapers!" So, on showbiz desks in newspaper offices all around the world, writers are feverishly scratching their heads to see what they can think of that MIGHT be happening in Britney's life. They have absolutely no evidence that it IS happening, but that doesn't matter. There are so many fake rumors, nobody can be bothered denying them anymore. And there's the problem. In the absence of any word of confirmation or denial from Britney or her "people", the rumors take on a life of their own. So almost everyone now believes that Britney made at least one suicide attempt (and, if you believe Perez Hilton, up to three), and that won't help her custody bid because it's not uncommon for women with severe PPD to kill their babies then themselves. But it's just possible that things are not quite as bad as we've been led to believe. Maybe she doesn't actually have PPD. And maybe her head-shaving wasn't really a sign of an imminent breakdown. Maybe when she next appears in public she'll say she just thought Gail Ann Dorsey's hairstyle was cute. Who knows??!! Most artists have a site where they post regular updates for their fans. But Britney has always been the most uncommunicative of artists. A tiny little statement of the facts at any given moment would nullify all the malicious speculation, but it never seems to come. When she DOES speak, it's more likely to be about her babies, her home, her family or her perfume than about herself. What wouldn't the fans give for one little sentence, direct from Britney when she comes out of rehab, about her career plans and about what's REALLY going on in her life!
 
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Cruel sympathy
Written by Karen   
March 3, 2007
Have you noticed the whole new industry in writing articles about Britney? The latest crop, almost without exception, purport to show sympathy instead of mockery, point out how serious the situation is, and place the whole debacle in a wider cultural context. The salutory lesson we all should learn from. I'm glad to see our heroine escape the jibes for a while. But hang on! Is she escaping, or has the criticism merely changed its tone? I've noticed that the vast majority of these articles aren't particularly symathetic. Yes, they point out that it does the media (and late night talk-show hosts in particular) no credit at all to make a mockery of someone else's misfortune. But none have taken the trouble to do the research, find out something about Britney's life over the past 4 years, and put these events in a HUMAN context. Who really knows if this is a "meltdown" or just a blip? Who knows if what happened to Britney Spears in one dreadful week is a symptom of something larger that's corroding modern society and culture? Anyway, while seeking to turn Britney's plight into a modern Morality Tale, most of these writers have clearly had problems making the concept "serious situation" fit with the concept "Britney Spears". They seem to be constantly looking over their shoulders to see if anyone is laughing at THEM for failing to poke fun at Britney. And so they preface their articles with little disclaimers, saying she's a puppet, a Barbie, someone they never cared to think about and CERTAINLY never wrote about before. BUT! Just this once, here's an event of such cultural significance they will hold their delicate noses and avoid the stink of the pop music industry and its plastic creations. It's such patronising drivel. Damn their fake compassion. Damn their cruel sympathy.
 
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Britney is done? Think again.
Written by Jason   
March 2, 2007

Despite the obvious tough times Britney has experienced in 2007, it's a telling sign when we see that the creative whiz-kids behind the recording consoles have not waned in their excitement about the potential of having Britney Spears record their material.  Love her or hate her, the public is eager to see what is next for Britney, some of it being for curiosity's sake, while much of it being because they remembered how highly-esteemed and appreciated her role in the entertainment world was, and they want a glimpse of that again.

 

Simon Cowell recently told the entertainment TV show Extra that "I know for a fact there are about 20 record producers...who are waiting to get Britney Spears into a recording studio...some of the best in the world, actually." Record producers look at the bottom line: they look at the potential success a collaboration with an artist can generate, and they look from the creative angle at which recording artist can best bring to life the essence of their material.  Not surprisingly, producers are not as fickle and callous as those in the tabloid industry, from whom most of America relies on for their daily dose of Britney discussion; those directly involved in working with the artists through all of the tabloid sludge recognize that even despite of bit of mud she's traveled through in 2007, Britney Spears is STILL Britney Spears the bonafide icon.  There's no guarantee that the confidence of producers will equal commercial success, but there's also no guarantee that Britney's tough times as of late will equal a flop...and for an artist as storied as Britney Spears, it's usually proven most appropriate to err on the side of positivity and give her the benefit of the doubt!

 

Take the support and faith coming from the back-end of the recording world, toss in (as Karen noted in her blog post yesterday) what we know about Britney's nature and the likelihood of her desiring a return to ultimate relevance, and finally sprinkle in the early great signs we've heard coming out of Promises rehab center about Britney's progress in ultimately becoming healthy.  That's a recipe for excitement about Britney's future and her professional life. An attitude of doom-and-gloom should not sit heavy over Britney's fans right now, to say the least.

 
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Britney Spears - regular pop star?
Written by Karen   
March 1, 2007
Ideas and wishes gallop through Britney's mind like wild horses. They're exciting and attractive while the moment lasts, but they don't stay long and soon there's silence as they head off into the distance. So, right at this moment, Britney is probably harboring lots of sweet ideas about becoming a normal, non-megastar citizen and moving back to live with her family in Kentwood. That way there would be no more trouble. She could keep the kids there, she'd be a 24/7 mom and they'd have a great life. Her own mom would make sure she didn't stray. She'd be a walking, talking example for her sister. The paparazzi would hang around for a while, sure - but after a while, if there were no "incidents", they'd get fed up and leave. Maybe they'd try to make Beyonce's life a misery instead. But Britney would hardly be started on decorating her bedroom at Serenity before she would begin to want something more. She would want to experience what it was like to be on a stage again, to thrill an audience of 15,000 or more and receive their love and appreciation. She would want to feel again what it was like to be "Britney Spears" the iconic megastar. She would start worrying about whether she was still seen as beautiful and sexy, so she would have to validate that by appearing scantily clad or even naked on a magazine cover. I don't think the recording process excites her that much. It's just work, a means to an end. I don't think working on her album would fill her with any great sense of fulfilment or of making the sort of comeback she would envision. So I really don't think there's ANY chance that she'll opt for a quiet, reclusive life, making albums and avoiding scandal. And I don't think she could bear to retire from music for long. I think she may hava a quiet few months, but she WILL BE BACK!!!
 
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