|
Originally written August 22, 2005. As an official Cyberslut I regularly extol te virtues of scenario-driven cybersex to anyone who will listen. How does it work? Well, two people imagine themselves together. You use your imagination and say what you’re doing to me and I say how it feels. And I say what I’m doing to you and you tell me how that feels. It lasts as long as you want it to last or until…..well, that’s another story. It’s all in the mind, sure. But scientists now reckon that orgasm is largely an experience of the brain anyway, so scenario-driven cybersex can be very real.
Anyway, what I’m building up to is that PM sex is a bit like a cross between “Don’t Hang Up” and “Touch of my hand”. I’ll deal with “Don’t Hang Up” another day.
TOMH is, in the broadest sense, a song about female masturbation. But it’s not a simple celebration of the physical, like the Divinyls’ “I touch myself” or Tweet’s “Oops (oh my)”. In TOMH, Britney checks herself out in the mirror only to set up her part of the fantasy.
The small of my back, the arch of my feet
Lately I’ve been noticin’ the beautiful me
I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait
I’m into myself in the most precious way
Just as in PM sex, you have to feel sexy or it doesn’t work. But then you give yourself over to the power of fantasy and imagination, so concisely expressed in these words:
I’m going to places I can be out of control
….I don’t want to explain tonight
All the things I’ve tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly
Imagination’s taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand
There’s a world undefined
In my body and mind
I won’t be left behind
I’m already here
In Britney’s mind she was playing all the parts. In her imagination she was Brad Pitt making out with Britney, just as much as she was Britney making out with Brad.
Britney remarked to VH1 and to Blender mag that people hadn’t written many songs about the subject, and they haven’t. But people have tended to lump it together somewhat crassly with every other masturbation song. And the pre-release comment concerning its presence on the “In The Zone” album conveyed an impression of pure smut. I still haven’t seen anyone give it a decent review.
Britney’s performance of TOMH on the Onyx tour was fairly unsatisfactory, if the truth be told. Early reviews suggested that she appeared to be naked, you could see her bare ass, and the whole thing was shocking beyond belief as she pleasured herself in a transparent bathtub. A few moms dragged their pre-teen daughters out of the show in protest. "But Mom.....!" "NO dear, we are NOT going back in!"
Those of us with a healthy sexual appetite and less inclination to be shocked were probably left with the feeling of being cheated. Here was Britney wearing a skin-tight bodysuit, but she was so damn far away that you really couldn’t see anything. And as she thrashed about with her legs you couldn’t see exactly what her hand was touching, but it didn’t seem to be anything in the region of her vagina. It was a disappointment, and I had my zoom lens an' all.....
However, on the album “In The Zone”, TOMH is a standout track, and one of Britney’s own favorite tracks on the album. The ravishingly beautiful string parts make it clear to anyone with an ounce of sensitivity that this is not a furtive rub against the spin drier at 1000 rpm or a self-inflicted, vibrator-assisted “wham bam thank you ma’am”. It’s a song about the strangeness and mystery of sex and arousal and of the power of the mind.
The contrast between Britney’s voice in its lower register and its occasional falsetto excursions expresses very ably the contrasting reflections and intensities of an extended sexual voyage. The non-verbal sounds she makes towards the end express the joy of flying on an elevated plane of pure sexual ecstasy, without distractions, without baggage, without worrying about your man’s sudden inexplicable limpness and exactly what it means. It is almost impossible to imagine another singer communicating what Britney does in this song.
TOMH is a wonderful demonstration of Britney Spears’ unique and undervalued abilities as a PERFORMER of songs, not just a singer.
 |
