|
Originally written August 19, 2005. A while ago, my boyfriend put an album of Britney ballads together for me to play in the car. But nestling between “Dear Diary” and “I’m Not A girl” he snuck in a little surprise for me - “Anticipating”. “Why’d you do that, honey?” I politely enquired. “I wanted to put a smile on your face” was his reply. Knowing my continually stressed out demeanor, it wasn’t a bad idea. And it works! Just as I’m about to lose sight of the road ahead through crying over Britney’s naive visions of love, “Anticipating” actually makes me laugh out loud.
The last few times I’ve played it, though, I’ve noticed quite a different emotion coming over me. And I’ll come to that later.
“Anticipating” appeared on the "Britney" album and was also released as a single in some territories. It was written and produced by Brian Kierulf and Josh Schwartz - who also penned “Lonely”, “Let Me Be”, “That’s Where You Take Me”, “Before The Goodbye”, “Brave New Girl” and “Don’t Hang Up” - and recorded at their favorite Rusk Sound Studios in L.A. As that list of credits shows, Brian and Josh are fairly unpredictable songwriters. Their productions are also quite unusual - they’re relatively simple compared to, say, The Matrix, but there’s always something out of the ordinary going on, especially their somewhat mysterious, pulsing rhythm tracks.
Britney surprised many fans by performing “Anticipating” on the DWAD tour. Coming near the end of the show, the sequence involved crayon-drawing-style paper houses, a pink paper car, girls sucking lollipops, dorky dancing and an audience singalong. Innocent girly fun was celebrated in amusing and exhilarating style and even the reviewer from the UK’s hardline rock mag the NME was amazed by the slickness, imagination and sheer bravado of it all.
“Anticipating” - the album track - only lasts a little over 3 minutes, but plenty happens in that time. There’s that wonderfully happy, upbeat opening where the presence of strings immediately alerts us to the fact that this is a hard song to classify. It’s not rock, it’s not hip-hop, it’s not conventional electro-pop....maybe it really does belong among the ballads. Except that the scratchy guitar is by Nile Rodgers - and Brian Kierulf’s inscrutable bassline, more felt than heard, also sounds like it belongs on a Chic or Sister Sledge song.
Britney, whether by accident or design, sounds very young, and only the lighter elements of her voice are present. In the bridge (“Gotta let me know that you want me...”) her voice seems to come at you from all angles. Buoyancy is maintained by ear-grabbing string stabs at 1.01 - 1.03 and brief, colourful string figures at 1.06 - 1.14, and all the while tiny subtle tinkles, squidgy synth sounds and Nile’s guitar ensure that each time you listen you hear something new.
It’s at the end, though, that something magical happens. As Britney wails her way through an extended coda into a repeat of the "gotta let me know" section a lovely string melody overlays the feeling in everything else and a whole different mood takes over. You can sense thoughtful expressions replacing smiles as the innocent merriment is dissipated and a mood of yearning and poignancy takes hold.
And that’s what I notice most of all now. As “Anticipating” plays, I think of the fresh, young, optimistic, untarnished Britney, whose lovely face and heartbreaking eyes made us fall in love with her all those years ago. Then I think of the heartbreak of her fall-out with Justin and her emotional disintegration, of the ridicule and abuse that was soon to come her way, of the ugly and shocking images of Britney in 2004. Dear God, whatever Britney was anticipating back in 2001, it can’t have been that.
So from a song of fun and jollity, “Anticipating” has become, for me, an anthem for lost youth, and innocence, and hope. It reminds me of my own hard times and makes me see that what I am now is not what I was then, or anything I would ever have expected to become. When the song begins, I still smile but by its end I am deep in nostalgia, sadness and regret.
 |
