Ok, I need to vent!! I HATE Kevin Federline! He’s scum. Evil, manipulative, self-absorbed, shady scum!!!

(takes a deep breath)

Ok, so now that I’ve gotten that out, let me be calm, and rationally explain what’s bugging me.

For the past five months, Kevin has been playing a no-holds-barred PR game. And while most people applaud his ingeniuity in turning the tables on his media critics and the general public, who had essentially written him off, I personally find the way he achieved this success despicable. This was not some turnaround that was accomplished through hard work and refining talent (think Robbie Williams, after being dumped by his boyband and undergoing rehab). This wasn’t done by quietly changing your public image and more importantly, your personal choices (think Tara Reid, who in recent months, has done this makeover beautifully).

No, Kevin’s reinvention came at the expense of his estranged wife, the mother of his two small children, and the one celebrity in Hollywood willing not only to give him a chance two years ago, but the only one to actively defend him to the media, and even go so far as to create an entire reality show based on their courtship and marriage JUST to get people to give him a chance. (Don’t believe me on that last point? Go back and read the letter Britney wrote to her fans about doing Chaotic: she fully acknowledged that doing it had nothing to do with her career (duh!). She later gushed how she was sure the fans would love Kevin as much as she did once they saw the show. Even the UPN producer who helmed the Chaotic series, when interviewed on E!, admitted that this show was less about fame and the achievement of fame, and more about setting the record straight. )

Certaintly, I’m not blaming Kevin for all of Britney’s problems. Britney had issues long before Kevin ever came along. She was depressed and unhappy and struggling for quite some time. What I do blame Kevin for is the way in which he used the situation of her unhappiness, and emotional instability to his own advantage. I’m not one of those people who think that after a spouse files for divorce, then all bets are off, and it’s whoever can win by any means necessary. That’s a stupid, mean-spirited game to play even if you don’t have kids, and it’s ten times worse if you do.

Added to this is the fact that Kevin blatantly refused to play the PR game when he was married to Britney. Then, he was America’s Most Hated, he worked that defensive, cocky, “playa” attitude like no-one else, all the while maintaining that this was the real deal. I cannot count the number of times I read interviews where he proudly declared that he didn’t give a f*ck what anyone thought, and he would be damned if he changed for anyone. Cue the divorce proceedings and everything changes. The man who was “real” disappeared to be replaced by a new and improved, stylishly dressed, no cigarette hanging from his lips, Kevin Federline. There was even a PR missive released to the press, heralding the new man.

Distasteful as it was, I could have looked past Kevin’s rapid makeover. I could have ignored the irony of the man who wouldn’t change for the love of a good woman and their kids, but who would change for the love of a good divorce settlement. (Again, if don’t believe me, then look at the facts: If the real Kevin was the 2004-2006 incarnation, then why change? We were always told that that guy was a good dad, a good husband, a good person, weren’t those merits enough to go into court? If that person was good enough for Britney to marry and live with and love, why was that person also not good enough for her to divorce? Why the need for a makeover?)

But the most disturbing thing about this whole situation was not the makeover, nor the fact that it essentially was only skin deep, as Kevin merrily continued on his partying jaunts (only in a more subdued tone), what really infuriates me is the systematic way in which he has convinced the media to invest in the Saint Kevin conversion. Once it was announced that Britney was headed to rehab, the "inside sources" and "friends" started working overtime. Not a day went by when there wasn’t a new story on people.com about how “supportive” Kevin was of Britney’s recovery, how “concerned” he was about the children’s welfare, how “fatherly” he was in Vegas, making sure that he tucked Sean and Jayden into bed before going off to party.

We were told that, on his first weekend visit to the rehab facility, he spent hours with Britney (never mind the fact that the X-17 photo agency, which essentially camped outside Promises to shoot unending paparazzi video, said he was there for 15 minutes, just stopping by to drop off some groceries). We were assured by the sources and friends close to Kevin that Britney was begging for a reconciliation, but he was being strong and just focusing on the children and getting her well.

But the most fantastic piece of Kevin fiction is ironically the most widely believed: Kevin had threatened an emergency hearing in family court, to take the boys away from Britney, if she didn’t get help and remain in rehab. People.com proclaimed it “Kevin’s Ultimatum To Britney”, and every news outlet from here to Timbuktu carried the story. Well, ALMOST every news outlet. Fox News carried an article with a quote from Britney’s father, Jamie Spears, in which he refuted the hearing claims and said that neither party was ever supposed to appear in family court that Thursday morning. Later, they ran a second article in which Kevin’s own lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, agreed with Mr. Spears, stating that he had never requested an emergency hearing, nor filed any court papers attempting to...or even threatening to… remove the boys from Britney’s custody.

Now, rehab is over and Britney has returned home. Her manager, Larry Rudolph, while addressing her release, also discussed the custody of the boys, saying that Britney and Kevin would share custody for now, with her later resuming full parental care. No problems there. That sounds reasonable. After all, Kevin is the boys’ father and Britney, although undoubtedly stronger than she was before, is still in a very vulnerable emotional state and deserves a chance to gradually resume her life, child-care responsibilities included. But that was too simple.

Yesterday morning, the reports were updated with quotes from the ubiquitous Kevin “sources’ and “friends”, and of course, their version is different. It goes: “They are not going to return custody to Britney as a reward for doing her stint in rehab. Kevin's had the children for six weeks and he will continue to have full custody”; Britney will have to prove that she “is living the life consistent with the best interest of her children.” “Britney has to really demonstrate she can retain sobriety”.

Taken at face value, these comments don’t sound too bad. It’s the high-handedness of them that annoys me. First of all, legally, BRITNEY still has full physical custody of the boys. That decree was set in January and it was never changed. Secondly, when BOTH parents were out partying and drinking on a regular basis, when BOTH parents have had rumours of a drug history, when BOTH parents have made decisions that were not necessarily the best, why is it that only ONE parent is required to demonstrate a life consistent with the best interests of the children, and to retain full sobriety?

I could understand if Britney’s behaviour had in some way endangered the children, or she had failed to care, or provide adequate care, for them. But that was never the case. In fact, Kevin seemed quite content to leave them in her care, as he frequently missed visitation appointments in January and February, and was preparing…yet again…to jet off to party in Vegas, that weekend when Britney entrusted him with the kids before entering rehab. There was no evidence that he ever seemed concerned or fearful of her ability to care for the boys, and considering the media microscope she was under, it’s useless to argue that he was unaware that she was struggling. A blind man could see that! Yet Kevin did nothing then to ensure the best interests of the children he now seems so intent on protecting.

One may argue that Britney entering rehab has changed Kevin, matured him even, and that is worth considering. I’m even willing to bet that he has grown up a bit these last 30 days. But that still doesn’t justify his need to qualify everything for the press. Why rephrase the statement that Larry made? Why call out Britney on her need to retain sobriety? And question whether or not she can provide a lifestyle beneficial to their two small children? Why dangle the custody issue in front of the media and further paint the idea of an unstable mother who, despite completing rehab, must further redeem herself, before she will be “rewarded” with her own children? That’s needlessly cruel and shady and manipulative.

And so we return to my original assessment of Kevin. This is not about Britney’s bad choices (of which there were many), this is not about Kevin finally maturing a bit (which I’m ready to concede), this is about how one person can secure one’s reputation, and taint another’s all in a few small, carefully selected moves. Often, before Britney filed for divorce, I had hoped that Kevin would change his image, recreate the way the public saw him, but I always respected him for not bowing to the public pressure to be “Mr. Hollywood”. Now, five months after Britney filed for divorce, I see a new Kevin, a cleaner, more reputable public image, almost “Mr. Hollywood”, but the respect is gone. To have gained that new image, by any means necessary, and in all reality, at the expense of the woman who once loved him, is a Machiavellian twist that I never envisioned, and as naive as it sounds, a twist I cannot in any way respect or admire.

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